Laquan was born in Newark, New Jersey on Sunday, January 20, 1980, at 10:50 a.m. He is the second born of my three children.

My eldest child is the first grandchild to be born. Laquan is the first grandchild to go Home. He leaves behind my parents, two sibling, one niece, four aunts, three uncles, and a host of cousins. He also leaves behind many, many acquaintances and VERY few friends.

HAVE YOU EVER?


Have you ever had a child?
Reach inside yourself and find
All the love you have ever known:
Love of family and friends,
Love of pets, possessions and places,
Love of favorite foods, music and experiences.
Take all your loves, big and small
And let them fill your heart with joy.
What a wonderful feeling!
Yet it barely begins to scratch the surface
Of the depth of love one has for their child.

Have you ever lost a child?
Reach inside yourself and find
All the pain you have ever known:
Pain of losses and regrets,
Pain of illness, lost loves and rejection,
Pain of memories, failures and unfulfilled dreams.
Take all your pains, big and small
And let them fill your heart with sorrow.
What a terrible ache!
Yet it barely begins to scratch the surface
Of the depth of pain one has for the loss of their child.

When you lose a child, you lose a part of yourself - literally.
And you lose a part of your future: your hopes and dreams.
No one ever fully recovers from the loss of a child.
Please do not expect that we will ever "get over it".
Our hearts will forever be scarred by our loss.
Over time, the scars will fade,
And we will come to treasure those scars
Not as reminders of our loss
But of our tremendous capacity for love
And how we are so very blessed
To carry the memory of our child forever.

So please forgive us our tears
They may seem to come too often,
But know that they are helping us heal.
You cannot protect us from our memories
Nor stop our remembrance with your avoidance.
So please ask us about our child,
For we need to speak of them.
And please share your children with us,
For we need to share in the joy of others.
We are uncomfortable too, but we need you
To be present, to listen and to embrace us with compassion.

~ HIS MOM ~

The Day The World Stood Still

I will never, ever forget the day my son went Home...

At approximately 12:15 a.m., on Saturday, January 15, 2005, I was sitting on my bed watching television when, suddenly an overwhelming unexplainable feeling came over me like a rush. My heart started racing, my heart was beating rapidly, and my mind was racing at an unexplainable pace. I was breathing very rapidly. There was a sense of overwhelming fear, why I did not know at the time. I could not understand this experience, as I had never experienced it before.

I remember looking at the clock as I began to immediately pray for each of my children. I asked my God to watch over them, to protect them, to send His angels to watch over them, to shine His white light of love all around them. Shortly thereafter, my thoughts immediately went to my son, Laquan. I do not know, nor can I explain why.

I repeated the same prayer above, this time directing my prayer specifically toward Quan. I was so afraid. I could not understand what I was feeling. I kept praying and looking at the clock. My prayer became very intense. I kept asking God to protect him, to watch over him, to send His angels to walk with him and protect him. I prayed and prayed and prayed not knowing why I was praying so sincerely to my Heavenly Father.

At approximately 12:45 a.m. the intensity decreased, my prayers were much calmer yet I continued to pray. There was a sense of serenity in the room. Everything became calm and quiet, almost motionless. However, I could not stop praying for my child. I could not understand why my thoughts were solely concentrated on him and not my other two children.

I looked at the clock one last time at exactly 2:00 a.m. I asked God once again to please protect my son, to please walk with him, to please send His Heavenly angels to watch over him, to shield him with His bright light of love and protection.

My child, my second born, died at 12:20 a.m., was pronounced dead by EMS at 12:41 a.m., and declared dead by the medical examiner at exactly 2:00 a.m.

Never, in my wildest dreams, would I have EVER thought that I would receive the devastating news that my child, my son, my baby was gone later that very same day.

I had no idea that my child was dying as I was praying for him. Maybe he was also talking to God. Maybe he was trying to connect with me somehow. I will never know the answers. This occurrence is one I will never, ever forget in my lifetime.

I love you, Quan, with all of my heart, mind, and soul. Thank you for the conversation we had in December, when you told me the last time…that you love me, you forgive me for being right when you thought I was wrong; for understanding; for all that I taught you; for the needed harsh love from time to time; for the long mother, son talks; for just being your mom, and for doing my best to raise you, your sister and brother as best I could. I will never forget that heartfelt conversation, Quan.

Now looking back in hindsight, I think God was preparing me for your leaving me forever. We did not know it at the time but this is my belief. Thank you for praising Him. Thank you for acknowledging He is a very presence in your life. I thank you Quan, I truly thank you.

I’ll see you at the crossroads.

Love you today, tomorrow, forever and a day!
~Mom~

 


FROM HERE TO ETERNITY...

There are no words to express my overwhelming feeling of grief when I loss my child, a victim of homicide.

I remember the phone call telling me that my son, my second born, was gone. There are no words to describe the pain one feels. No one can know the pain and sorrow that survivors experience, unless they themselves have gone through the horror of losing someone they love at the hands of another human being.

On January 15, 2005 sometime after 11:00 a.m, my telephone rang. My sister, Denise, called to give me news that would change my life forever.

She stated that she and my sister, Maureen, were coming to my house. I found this to be odd. We usually plan our visits. I felt in my heart something was wrong. I refused over; and over, and over again to let them come over unless she told me why they were coming suddenly and unexpectedly. I would never, in my wildest dreams, have thought that she and my sister were coming to my house to tell me my son may be dead. After trying to prolong telling me this horrible news over the phone, she finally gave in and told me "Quan might be dead". She and other family members knew about this possibility as early as 2:00 a.m. My mom felt it best to let me sleep until they knew for sure. She stated "we're on our way".

Soon after our call ended, his best friend, Mahall, called to confirm the horrible news. His voice was soft and quiet. I refused to believe he was calling to tell me my son was dead. I prolonged the conversation with small talk. I was hoping he was calling to tell me Laquan was injured, but okay. After approximately five minutes on the phone, he said something to the effect..."Quan is no longer with us". I asked him what do you mean by that. He answered, something to the effect... "Quan is gone, he is no longer with us". I asked him again, what do you mean. He answered, something to the effect... "Quan passed away this morning".

I could not stop screaming from disbelief. I have never felt such pain; sorrow; and many other emotions all at once in my life. I gave the phone to my daughter, Natalia; the youngest of my three children, whom was returning to college the same day.

After running into my bedroom, screaming to the top of my lungs, and falling onto the floor, I picking myself up off the floor. I finally managed to force myself to speak. I called my sister, Denise, to confirm her worst nightmare. I said "it's true, Quan is dead"!!!!!!!!!! I hanged up the phone and began to scream again. She called back, I screamed again, she called back again, I screamed again and again and again. She began to cry as she said "we're on our way".

I refused to believe this. I wanted to believe there was a mistaken identity and everything would be okay.

We later learned from the Medical Examiner and Investigator, that my son died from multiple gunshot wounds to his torso.

I cried out to God, "WHY!!!!!!!!!, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY SON!!!!!!!", DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!!!, WHY GOD, WHY!!!!!!!!

I cannot begin to describe the intense pain and sorrow that one feels when their child dies. To those of you who could not ever begin to comprehend something so inconceivable, I pray you never live to experience this. Parents should never have to experience such an unbearable tragedy.

Laquan was my second child and youngest son. He was loved so much by people from all walks of life. He was a good person, with a good heart. He was intellegient; focused; a mentor to the children, and a peace maker.

A mother's love is eternal. It is a love that last beyond time. We are not supposed to bury our children. The death of my child leaves an emptiness that will be with me forever. It's a life sentence.

Laquan's death was unnecessary and the most horrible way to depart from this earth. He was MURDERED!!!! He died five days before his 25th birthday. My God, he was only 24 years old. He wasn't married; he had no children; he didn't even get the opportunity to find or experience his passion in life. My God, he hadn't even begun to enjoy or understand the meaning of life. My son was taken away from those who loved him much too soon!!! 

  He can now fly without wings

HIS JOURNEY HAS BEGUN

 Don’t think of him as gone away,
his journey’s just begun,
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.
Just think of him as resting
from the sorrow and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort,
where there are no days and years.
Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost,
and he was loved so much.

May God bless his soul
as he travel the road
taking his untimely journey
back Home.

     ~His Mom~

Tattered Edges

Tattered 'round the edges,
And faded now with time;
Memories that linger still,
Are what they left behind.
Like a precious package,
Kept in a secret room;
Each memory a treasure,
A family heirloom.

On rare and quiet occasion,
The package opens wide;
Revealing then the memories,
That nestle there inside,
Faces etched in memories
Like photos from the past;
Each snapshot printed in the heart,
Are memories that last.

Worn and ragged photographs,
So faded now with time;
Yet the lasting love deep in your heart,
Is what they left behind.

~ Author Unknown ~

Where do broken hearts go when the tears no longer flow?

Below is my dream/visit with Laquan

(June 2005)

I dreamed that my son was walking toward my apartment door. He was singing a beautiful love ballad loudly and off-key, as he often did while living.

Although I knew in my dream that he was deceased, I was excited to hear him approaching. I remember saying in my dream, "It can't be him, he's dead, maybe he really isn't dead"!

I was standing in front of my kitchen sink waiting anxiously, with a big smile on my face, for him to enter my apartment. I was so happy to hear his voice.

I remember saying "how is he going to open the door, it's locked?" I continued to wait in anticipation as he came closer and closer to my door.

As he approached the front of my door his voice changed. He began to sing beautifully. He sang so sincerely from the depth of his heart and soul.

I was so excited. It seems he paused before opening the door. As he opened the door he continued to sing.

He was wearing a baseball cap. The cap covered his eyes. He never looked at me. He was carrying an empty pale blue laundry basket.

He walked directly toward my dryer, never once looking at me. He reached to open the dryer.

Unfortunately, I awoke from my telephone ringing.

 ~His Mom~

Precious Memories... How they linger

Quan...

Precious memories never cease to unfold, dwell in my heart, live in my soul.

I miss you from a place in my heart that I did'nt know exists!!!

(((I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH ~ R.I.P.)))

~ Mom ~

Quan...

Look, your favorite birthday card!!!

You always said you would keep this card next to your bed and you always did. That's exactly where I found it on the devastating, heart-wrenching day we removed your things from your apartment.

I always knew this card was very special to you. I had no idea how special it would be to me, or how precious it would become, 'til the day God took your hand.

Oh how much I miss your beautiful smile and your indescribable warm, loving, sincere hugs!

(((I LUV U TO LIFE!!! ~ RIP )))

~ Mom ~

~ October 19, 2006 ~

A beautiful tribute from Claire, daughter of angel mum
Rita Darcy. I feel as though  I can reach out and touch him.
Thank you Claire! 

          

When You Lose A Child

There is a place within our hearts,
That none it's place can take.
It belongs to someone very dear,
For whom our heart does ache.

We've had many days in our lives that,
We didn't think we'd make it through.
Our hearts hurt oh so much and,
We dread the days anew.

We pray for the sorrow to disappear,
For the pain to go away.
Our angel we want within our arms,
And thoughts of yesterday.

I know it's hard to understand,
Why things happen as they do.
Sorrow may even cause us to doubt,
God's plan for me and you.

Even so our Father is there,
Our cries He does hear.
He knows how bad we're hurting,
And wants to draw us near.

Oh precious friend Jesus loves us!
And loves our angel too.
One day we'll understand it all,
Will see all things brand new.

Remember God uses godly friends,
To remind us of His love.
So listen and be watchful,
For His message from above

One day a smile will surely come,
And tears will fade away.
Beautiful memories we will recall,
As God promises each day.

Oh Yes! "Jesus loves me, this I know;
For the Bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong!"

©~southbreeze~

You are always in my heart.

http://rj-davis.memory-of.com

The above picture of Laquan and poem is a heartfelt
tribute made by Monica Davis, mother of R.J. Davis,
also a victim of homicide.

~ Thank you Monica ~

(9/8/06 and 11/15/06)

My First Year Without Him

~ January 15, 2006 - Eternity ~


Laid to rest Saturday, January 22, 2005
~ Headstone set July 7, 2005 ~

I LOST MY CHILD TODAY

I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.

~Netta Wilson


Second Year Without Him 

~ January 15, 2007 - Eternity ~

(Graphic made by Diana & Pauline, daughters to Norma Starkey)

~ January 14, 2007 ~

The above is a very precious tribute from
Julie; loving and caring
daughter to Diane and Thomas E. Packer

Thank you Julie,
May God and the Heavenly Angels
walk with us until He calls us Home!

~ Januari 16 2007 ~

THINKING OF YOU / LuAnn Mom Of ^i^ Bob DeMartino (caring friend)

Wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today. Wrap your arms around your beautiful mother she has helped so many of us with her kind words. I'm sure you're very proud of her.

LuAnn (Bob's Mom)

 LuAnn thank you sooo much for your kind words. You are a beautiful person. I truly appreciate every precious candle and tribute in memory of Quan. I pray our angels walk beside us and guide us 'til we're together again.

~Januari 20 2007 ~

Happy Birthday Laquan / Carol Pizzi

(Angel Debbie's Mom)

 (Loving Mom to Deborah Sabroski-Fanean)

Wishing you a beautiful birthday in Heaven Laquan. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loving family. May their memories of you bring them comfort and peace.

Thinking of your precious Mom today.

Carol

Thank you sooo much Carol!!! I pray God bless and keep you and yours 'til you reunite with Debbie above.

(((Ps 61:2)))

From the end of the earth I will cry unto Thee when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

~ Valentines Day ~
February 7, 2007

Loving thoughts of you / Marilyn-mom Of
Rachel Barnes (friend)

Love is more than a feeling.
It is who we are.
It defines our actions,
our thoughts,
and directs the paths of our lives.

Marilyn,
Thank you so much for remembering Laquan

The above is a very precious gift from
Diana Jones; warm and loving
daughter to Norma Starkey.

May God walk beside you; hold you up,
carry you until you reunite with
your beloved mum.

It's amazing how God sends His
earth angels at the right time.

Heavenly Father,
 
Thank you for directing our angels
to send this tribute to me
during this special time of year.

~ March 25, 2007 ~

(Easter Holiday April 8, 2007)

Thank you Julie ~ Loving daughter to Thomas Packer ~

I wish you God's peace and many blessings!

Precious Angel Laquan / Candy Lynch

~ Mom to Kelly Lynch ~

September 24, 2007

Always thinking of u precious Angel sending u and ur precious family love and hugs Candy Dermot and Jai xoxoxox

Thank you Candy!

I'll cherish this 'til the day God calls me Home

HAPPY HALLOWEEN / Tamara (Hunters Mom) Vongphrachanh (friend)

 ~ October 20, 2007 ~

Happy Halloween Laquan / Denise Kneale (angel friends )

~ October 31, 2007 ~

Have a great Halloween Laquan, hope you find my James and his 4 buddies who will party with you, lighting up our skies tonight.

Love and Blessings Denise mum to James.

Happy Thanksgiving To Dear Laquan And His Family / Denise Kneale (angel friends )

Mom to James Kneale

~ November 22, 2007 ~ 

 ~ December 7, 2007 ~

Merry Christmas / Family of William Myers

Merry Christmas, God Bless, Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours Brenda. I pray God bless and keep you 'til you meet Scott and Samantha again.

God Bless!!!

 ~ December 13 2007 ~

Thinking of You and Your Family as the Holiday approach xx / Diane & Pauline of Angel Norma Starkey (Friend)

Thank you Diane and Pauline! May God bless and keep you and yours 'til you reunite with your Mum above.

God Bless!!!

 Thinking Of You Quan And Your Dear Family / Denise Kneale (angel friends )

~ January 14, 2008 ~

Dear Quan,

 Please stay close to your dear family, so they may feel the peace you do, leaving them little signs along
the way.

Love and Blessings Denise mum to James.

Denise, thank you so much; love and blessing to you too!

 Happy Birthday Laquan! / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )

~ January 20, 2008 ~

Precious Angel Laquan / Candy Lynch (friend)

Candy is the loving mom to Kelly Lynch

~ February 15, 2008 ~

Happy Valentines day / Diana & Pauline Of Angel Norma Starkey (Friend)

~ February 7, 2008 ~

Happy Valentines Day Quan / Denise Kneale Mom to James Kneale (angel friends )

~ February 13, 2008 ~

Thank each of you sooo much; each are sooo precious!!!

Happy Valentines Day to all here and in our Eternal Home.

~ God Bless ~

Happy Thanksgiving / Jeralyn Mom to Angel Darrell Gillis

~ November 26 2008 ~

Thank you sooooo much Jeralyn God Bless!!!

Thinking of you at Christmas / Marilyn Barnes (Rachel's mom)

~ December 22, 2008 ~

Marilyn, Thanks you! I am truly grateful!!! I wish you and your family a Christmas full of comfort and peace.

Christmas Wishes / Judy, Mom to Jamie-leigh Britt

~ December 11, 2008 ~

Wishing your family a gentle, peaceful Christmas filled with love and hope

Love, Judy

Thank you so much Judy, God bless you and may Heaven smile upon you  until you and Jamie-leigh meet again.

From Our Family to Yours / Family of William Myers

~ December 9, 2008 ~

Wishing you a Christmas full of comfort and peace as we give praise and celebrate in Heaven and on Earth.

Merry Christmas to the Myers Family and God Bless!

Sending A Snowman for my Angel Friend Quan... /Lisa Maas (Angel Friend)

~ December 6, 2008 ~

Thank you, Laura & Vicki!

(Lisa's beloved mom and aunt)

I am sure our children will celebrate a glorious Christmas beyond our imagination.

Merry Christmas; God Bless!

He whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believe thou this. (Jn 11:25-26)

Quan...

On January 22, 2005, we looked upon your handsome face for the last time. You looked so peaceful, as if you were asleep.

It began to snow heavily in the wee morning hours, yet, through frigid weather and dangerous roads, many came to say see you later. By the close of day 8.9 inches of snow had fallen. It hurt so badly to have to leave you there all alone.

I love and miss you beyond explanation. Rest in peace Quan; we'll see you when we get there.

~Mom~

 You are not alone / Melissa Hedge (Passing Through )
~ January 28, 2009 ~

Jeri, Sometimes the pain of loosing someone you love makes you forget that you are not alone. Thank you so much for lighting a candle on my Dad's site. It brought tears to my eyes to see that other people really do care, and that I am not alone. You and your family are in my thoughts and Prayers may God Bless you all.

~ Melissa Daughter of Angel Paul W. Thomas ~

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could re-live yesterday
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

Melissa, thank you so much for the beautiful, heartfelt, poem and for passing through. May God bless and keep you and yours 'til you and your beloved dad meet again.

(Th 5:10)
The Coming of the Lord
Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.

Blessed Angel Anniversary Laquan / Forever Family to Angel~Vanessa Borg~

~ January 13, 2009 ~

May Eternal Light Shine on  them O LORD with all your Saints for ever,  for You are rich in Mercy.

Give them Eternal rest, O Lord and may Perpetual Light Shine on them for ever, for You are rich in Mercy.

May you rest in peace Laquan

To the Borg Family...

Thank you, wishing you God's peace and mercy 'til you and Vanessa    meet again.

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever (I Ch 16:34)

Thinking of you on your Angel Day / Kate Porter Christopher's Mum

~ January 15, 2009 ~

Thank you Kate, God bless you!!!

Bless you Laquan / Family Of Wm. Scott Myers

~ January 16, 2009 ~

(Original Tributes Combined)

 Thank you so much Brenda, God Bless!!!

Thinking of u on ur angel date dear Laquan /

Jo-Ann Pacenta Lauren's Mom (Angel family friend )

~ January 20, 2009 ~

 Thank you Jo-Ann, Be Blessed!!!

(Jn 14:2...)
The Holy Spirit Promised
   In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so,  I would have   told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Happy Birthday Precious Laquan! /        Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )

~ January 19, 2009 ~

Laquan, Wrap your angel wings around your Mom today and help her to remember only the blessing of your birth. Fill her heart with your love.

Jeri, I'm thinking of you today & hope that you have a gentle day filled with God's blessings & the love of Laquan.

Love to both of you, Carol ~ Debbie's Mom

Thank you Carol, I'm thinking of you too, God bless!!!

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT (ANGEL FRIEND )

~ January 20, 2009 ~

Rose, thanks so much for everything ~ God bless!!!

FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, LAQUAN / CATHY~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD (A MOM WHO CARES~ )

~ January 20, 2009 ~

Dear Jeri, I am thinking of you today. You and your handsome son, Laquan, are forever in my heart, thoughts, and prayers. We travel a most difficult journey, but we do have the same hope. We know that one day, at the return of our LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, we will see our precious boys again.

God bless you, Jeri, and all who love and miss your precious son!!

Cathy Giraud (Mom of David)

Thank you so much Cathy, I love you back! ~ God Bless You ~

(Jn 16:22)
Sorrow Turned to Joy
Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.

Sending Valentine Wishes! / Angela ~ Daughter to Angel Linda Taylor

~ February 11, 2009 ~

Thank you Angela! Sending  (((BIG VALENTINE HUGS))) back to you and yours!!!

~ March 4, 2009 ~

sending blessings for mum on Mother's Day / ELL SIS 2 ANGELS FLISSIKOWSKI (Friends through grief)

^i^ Michael - 4/9/59 ~ 6/22/00

^i^ Bernard - 3/30/51 ~ 10/25/07

^i^ George - 11/30/50 ~ 2/24/08

Three Brothers Together Forever In Eternity

Thank you Ell! May God bless and keep you 'til you and your brothers meet again

~ April 10 2009 ~

Thinking of You at Easter  / Edwina ~ Troy's Mum(Edwina ~ Mom to Troy Mitchell)

Thank you Edwina may God bless and keep you and yours 'til you and Troy are together again.

Happy Fall / Myers Family

~ September 25 2009 ~

Happy Fall to you too Brenda!

I know I've said it again and again but thank you so much. May God bless and keep you and yours 'til you reunite with Scott and Samantha now resting above.

Celebrating Christmas With All Our Precious Souls Forever in Our Eternal Home

Rest In Peace Quan, You're Free!

thinkin of U at christmas time / Connie (aunt to sammy pepe)

~ December 9, 2006 ~

 dearest angel Laquan you will be spending time at Christmas in Heaven with all our angels. send angel dust from Heaven to your family on Christmas day so they will know you are with them...

~ December 15, 2006 ~

Merry Christmas / Lisa Church (Holly's Mom)

(Loving mom to Holly Proffitt)

 Thinking of you Laquan / Valerie Haslett (^i^ Friend )

(Loving wife to Ian Haslett)

~ December 17, 2006 ~

Thinking of you Laquan / Valerie Haslett (^i^ Friend)

(Loving wife to Ian Haslett)

~ December 17, 2006 ~

I could wish your family a happy Christmas,
and hopes for a great New year.
But I know they can never feel happy
with eye's over flowing with tears.
The loss of you has been immence pain
The pain knowing never to see you again
But in my heart I know you will visit if you can
To let them know you are still their Laquan.
God Bless you sweet Angel, Stay close to your family
x x x x

~ December 23, 2006 ~

Merry Christmas / Teri Drebit (Angel Mom of Jaime)

MY NEW NORMAL…

Normal is waking up and going to sleep knowing that he will
never call, visit, or say "I love you Ma" again in human form.

Normal is me needing him not him needing me.
It seems like he has become the elder

Normal is waking up and going to sleep, for the rest of my
life, knowing he now lives’ in a place I cannot imagine.
 
Normal is a yearning to run somewhere; anywhere, and
scream to top of my lungs in hope that it will soothe my
broken heart

Normal is accepting that I must grieve privately.
Hello world, death is eternal!!!

Normal is always having an empty chair, every day, week,
month, year, birthday, holiday, and special occasion
 
Normal is the unexplainable feeling of sadness when I look
at beautiful flowers, the sky, rain, or snow

Normal is carefully placing flowers on my child's
resting place on his birthday, angel date,
and during holiday seasons

Normal is looking forward to visiting him at his
gravesite knowing he is not there

Normal is not having a good night’s sleep since
the day he went Home and dreading
waking up and going to sleep

Normal is a question to which there is no answer… “WHY”!
 
Normal is numbers that now have a special meaning,
hurtful significance

Normal is the sadness and hurt I feel when in total silence.

Normal is staring at other young men his age and having to
feel the roller coaster ride of emotions all over again

Normal is wondering what he would look like if
he were still here

Normal is being among a crowd of strangers hoping
to see someone who looks just like him

Normal is a yearning desire to talk about him simply
because he is still my child and I love him
 
Normal is breaking down and crying when I hear a song that 
my son loved or would have loved if he was still here

Normal is crying from every ounce of my being at
any given moment

Normal is knowing that others are uncomfortable around me

Normal is praying others will always remember him.
He is still my son, we just have a new relationship

Normal is knowing that nothing I have lost can
ever compare to the loss of my child

Imagine how devastating it is to lose your home
or business by an act of nature,
your treasured vehicle, or your marriage by divorce.

Imagine the end of a relationship with a man or woman
 you loved with all of your heart,
The loss of your well-paying job or your most
precious worldly possessions.
Imagine how devastating it must be
to be homeless with no one to call "friend".

Imagine the devastation you felt over things
you've loss or situations that have overwhelmed you?

None of the above compare to the tragic
loss of my child, so please don't go there.

Please don't ask me to do what you cannot do
here and now, while you live!
Please don't ever compare my letting go of the
loss of my precious child to a situation
or material things
Death is eternal, it cannot be repaired or undone. 

Normal is not caring about the daily things I once
considered important

Normal is answering the question how many
children do I have and what are their ages.
He is one of my three precious children
and is forever 24

Normal is totally understanding the overwhelming
sorrow, pain, emotions, and feeling of emptiness
and loss of a newly grieving soul

Normal is being able to understand the depth of
emotion before, during and after a loved one's funeral,
rather than a wedding, birthday party, sports,
holiday, or special occasion
 
Normal is looking forward to visiting his and other
memorial web sites because it is the one place I can go
 to feel every emotion and not feel out of place
 
Normal is meeting people online that would otherwise be
a total stranger on the street, yet feeling a connection,
a bond, a special friendship
 
Normal is having a special connection with someone
who is grieving rather than someone who is celebrating

Normal is my heartfelt appreciation for the many
candles, tributes, and graphics that are placed
on Laquan's website from others whom truly understand

Normal is I will never completely get over the loss
 of my child; there is no such thing as closure!

Normal is my complete understanding that
I am the one who is waiting to go Home
He wouldn't come back here if he could 

Normal is asking God, each day, to forgive me for
my sins, accept me as His child, and to please
take me Home before tomorrow comes

Normal is believing it won't matter, or will all
make sense "why" I loss my child when
 I cross over to the other side

My son's soul continues to live, he now lives in eternity 


~ His Mom ~

PEOPLE

People tend to try to be there for us
in the beginning of our grief process.
They tend to try to re-enter our life when they
hear us laugh or see us smile, assuming
our grief has ended
and we have returned to their reality.

Their secret thoughts are thank God
she finally let go, she's over him!!!

Some people run away and never return.
It's much easier to avoid us than
to accept that we are in the midst of
inconceivable sorrow and pain.
What would they want us to do
if it were them?

It is those moments of time between
our outwardly, open expression of our grief and our
silent grief that we need a sincere, true friend.

What people fail to realize is that this road never ends.
It is a walk we whom have loss our child
will walk until the day we too
close our eyes for the very last time.

Our child's life doesn't end when their life
here on earth is done.
They are still our children and we still love
them dearly although they now
live in our eternal home.

They are still very much a part of our
everyday life, every birthday, holiday,
and special occasion.
They are and will remain part of our
heart; mind, and soul,
until the day God calls us Home; until the
day we reunite again on the other side.

This is something they will never, ever possibly 
understand, or comprehend
until they too travel the same road.

You see, over a period of time, the world teaches us
that, in time, our grief must become our
eternal silent partner.

With or without us the world will continue to move on,
leaving us where we learn to become acceptable,
silently, grieving parents.




~His Mom~

He and Laquan are resting, until we meet again

Jul. 22, 1939 ~ Jun. 15, 2008

He is reunited with his parents and seven sibling... (two sisters and five brothers).

May our loved ones all rest in eternal peace.

For Precious Quan and His Family xxxxxxxx /Maria Mum to Lil' Angels in Heaven and on Earth

~ January 10, 2009 ~

In Heaven

 Pieta, Amore, Cara, and Teressa

On Earth

Tiani, Mikari, and Jesse

WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE

...A journey through the heart of grief

When someone you love dies
a part of yourself dies too.

For as much as the one you loved
did not belong to you,
your heart belonged to them.

You were part of each other.

There is a physical hurt within you.

It is as real as the emptiness that surrounds you.

You will wonder how you will walk in a world
that no longer holds
the footprints of your loved one.

You will wonder how the world can go on
when your world has stopped.

You will speak silently
in the language of tears
as your heart seeks to understand
what it cannot.

Spiritual thoughts, religious beliefs
and philosphy
may not take away the hurt.

But the power of love will comfort you.

Love will be found in the hearts of those
who surround you
and care about you.

People who have been in the places of sadness
where you are now,
will be there for you.

The sun will continue to rise
and the moon and the stars will still light the heavens.

You will begin the sacred daily ritual
of "remembering".

Your grief will become your companion
The part of you that is compassionate,
and strong and deep.

In your suffering you will be given
the greatest challenges you will ever have
To be able to accept what life gives,
and what life takes away.

And to be able to accept
the mysteries that are a part of life.

Peace will come to your days.

Peace may come with the early morning sunlight
streaming in your window.

Or peace may come
with the song of one bird.

With time
the veil of sorrow will lift.

Peace will come to your heart
and you will know
this love we share is
an eternal gift.

You will see
what is most precious and sacred,
is the love we share.

This love lives forever.

(by Susan Squellati Florence)

 Thank You Sooo Much Maria, God Bless!!!!

       In Precious Memory of My Son & Dad... Who Have Gone Home to Stay 

( Laquan Ali  ~ January 15, 2005  /  George Henry  ~ June 15, 2008)

May God bless you and Heaven smile upon you 'til  you meet again.

(Heb 13:14)
Follow Peace With All Men
For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city which is to come.

   

Unless you have walked in our shoes, you could never, ever understand how much your presence means to us. May God bless you and  your Angel(s) walk beside you until you meet again on the other side. 


Thank you!

Jeri ~ Quan's Mom