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| January 20, 1980 |
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Laquan was born in Newark, New Jersey on Sunday, January 20, 1980, at 10:50 a.m. He is the second born of my three children.
My eldest child is the first grandchild to be born. Laquan is the first grandchild to go Home. He leaves behind my parents, two sibling, one niece, four aunts, three uncles, and a host of cousins. He also leaves behind many, many acquaintances and VERY few friends.
HAVE YOU EVER?
Have you ever had a child?
Reach inside yourself and find
All the love you have ever known:
Love of family and friends,
Love of pets, possessions and places,
Love of favorite foods, music and experiences.
Take all your loves, big and small
And let them fill your heart with joy.
What a wonderful feeling!
Yet it barely begins to scratch the surface
Of the depth of love one has for their child.
Have you ever lost a child?
Reach inside yourself and find
All the pain you have ever known:
Pain of losses and regrets,
Pain of illness, lost loves and rejection,
Pain of memories, failures and unfulfilled dreams.
Take all your pains, big and small
And let them fill your heart with sorrow.
What a terrible ache!
Yet it barely begins to scratch the surface
Of the depth of pain one has for the loss of their child.
When you lose a child, you lose a part of yourself - literally.
And you lose a part of your future: your hopes and dreams.
No one ever fully recovers from the loss of a child.
Please do not expect that we will ever "get over it".
Our hearts will forever be scarred by our loss.
Over time, the scars will fade,
And we will come to treasure those scars
Not as reminders of our loss
But of our tremendous capacity for love
And how we are so very blessed
To carry the memory of our child forever.
So please forgive us our tears
They may seem to come too often,
But know that they are helping us heal.
You cannot protect us from our memories
Nor stop our remembrance with your avoidance.
So please ask us about our child,
For we need to speak of them.
And please share your children with us,
For we need to share in the joy of others.
We are uncomfortable too, but we need you
To be present, to listen and to embrace us with compassion.
HIS MOM |
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| January 1, 2005 |
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Our Last Conversation…
My last conversation with my child was on Sunday, January 1, 2005, at exactly 10:56 a.m.
My family tradition between my children and myself is that we speak with each other as soon as possible on New Years Day. My children usually call me within one-half hour after the start of the New Year to say happy New Year and to give God thanks for allowing us to see another new year. However, there was something different about this New Year. Quan called at 10:56 a.m. to tell me he was trying to call me but for some reason could not get to a phone. He said Ma I’ve been trying to call you but the phone would not work. He said I tried using somebody’s phone but I could not get through. He said I don’t understand, that’s strange, God must be trying to tell me something. He was very concerned about this because it had never happened before. He truly felt God was trying to tell him something.
As always, he began to thank God for allowing each of us to see another year. We have never loss an immediate family member so we were always so thankful to be alive and together regardless of our problems or situation. We always prayed for those who loss a loved one. He was especially thankful because of the Tsunami in December 2004. He said Ma, all those people died! He said Ma, it could have been us but God spared our lives! He said, Ma, it could have been something that happened here in the U.S.! He said Ma, people here take things like this for granted, we don't think it can happen to us! He said again, all those people Ma, all those people died but God spared our lives! He said it could have been us Ma, it could have been us! He mentioned that he said a prayer for those who survived. He talked about his celebrating the income of the new year at a friend's house. He said they enjoyed each others company, celebrating and giving thanks, while they watched the ball drop on TV from Times Square in New York. Laquan never favored clubs or large crowds. He preferred small gathering at his or a friends house. He went on to thank me, his brother, his family, his employer, his coaches, his teachers, and anyone else that that he could think of who had befriended or helped him throughout the years. He kept talking about the people that died in the Tsunami. He was truly affected by this natural catastrophe.
His conversation was so sincere and heartfelt, my God, if I only I had this last conversation on tape. I would play it over, and over, and over again. It was almost like the “I Have A Dream” Martin Luther King speech. I was so thankful that my son took the time to give God thanks, to pray for and forgive others, as I always taught him to do. However, at the same time I was afraid. There was something very, very different about his conversation this new year.
I am so very thankful for this last conversation with Quan. My only regret is that I cannot play it back and listen to it repeatedly. The last thing my precious son said to me before the end of our conversation was “I love you Ma, I love you Ma, Ma, I love you”.
May my child rest in Heavenly peace
~His Mom~ |
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| Saturday, January 15, 2005 |
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Passed away on Saturday, January 15, 2005 at the age of 24. Laquan's final resting place is located in Rosedale Cemetary, Orange, NJ.
THOSE WE LOVE
 Those we love must someday
pass beyond our present sight...
must leave us and the world
we know without their radiant light.
 But we know that like a candle
their lovely light will surely shine
to brighten up another place
more perfect... more divine.
And in the realm of Heaven
where they shine so warm
and bright.
Our loved ones live forevermore
in God ’s eternal light.
New Years Day
January 1, 2006 - Eternity
Laid to rest Saturday, January 22, 2005
~ Headstone set July 7, 2005 ~
And I said, “Oh that I had wings like a dove! For then I would fly away, and be at rest. (Ps 55:6)
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| January 15, 2005 -- The Day Quan Went Home |
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I will never, ever forget the day my son went Home...
At approximately 12:15 a.m., on Saturday, January 15, 2005, I was sitting on my bed watching television when, suddenly an overwhelming unexplainable feeling came over me like a rush. My heart started racing, my heart was beating rapidly, and my mind was racing at an unexplainable pace. I was breathing very rapidly. There was a sense of overwhelming fear, why I did not know at the time. I could not understand this experience, as I had never experienced it before.
I remember looking at the clock as I began to immediately pray for each of my children. I asked my God to watch over them, to protect them, to send His angels to watch over them, to shine His white light of love all around them. Shortly thereafter, my thoughts immediately went to my son, Laquan. I do not know, nor can I explain why.
I repeated the same prayer above, this time directing my prayer specifically toward Quan. I was so afraid. I could not understand what I was feeling. I kept praying and looking at the clock. My prayer became very intense. I kept asking God to protect him, to watch over him, to send His angels to walk with him and protect him. I prayed and prayed and prayed not knowing why I was praying so sincerely to my Heavenly Father.
At approximately 12:45 a.m. the intensity decreased, my prayers were much calmer yet I continued to pray. There was a sense of serenity in the room. Everything became calm and quiet, almost motionless. However, I could not stop praying for my child. I could not understand why my thoughts were solely concentrated on him and not my other two children.
I looked at the clock one last time at exactly 2:00 a.m. I asked God once again to please protect my son, to please walk with him, to please send His Heavenly angels to watch over him, to shield him with His bright light of love and protection.
My child, my second born, died at 12:20 a.m., was pronounced dead by EMS at 12:41 a.m., and declared dead by the medical examiner at exactly 2:00 a.m.
Never, in my wildest dreams, would I have EVER thought that I would receive the devastating news that my child, my son, my baby was gone later that very same day.
I had no idea that my child was dying as I was praying for him. Maybe he was also talking to God. Maybe he was trying to connect with me somehow. I will never know the answers. This occurrence is one I will never, ever forget in my lifetime.
I love you, Quan, with all of my heart, mind, and soul. Thank you for the conversation we had in December, when you told me the last time…that you love me, you forgive me for being right when you thought I was wrong; for understanding; for all that I taught you; for the needed harsh love from time to time; for the long mother, son talks; for just being your mom, and for doing my best to raise you, your sister and brother as best I could. I will never forget that heartfelt conversation, Quan.
Now looking back in hindsight, I think God was preparing me for your leaving me forever. We did not know it at the time but this is my belief. Thank you for praising Him. Thank you for acknowledging He is a very presence in your life. I thank you Quan, I truly thank you.
I’ll see you at the crossroads.
Love you today, tomorrow, forever and a day!
~Mom~
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| The Unforgettable Devastating Phone Calls... |
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FROM HERE TO ETERNITY...
There are no words to express my overwhelming feeling of grief when I loss my child, a victim of homicide.
I remember the phone call telling me that my son, my second born, was gone. There are no words to describe the pain one feels. No one can know the pain and sorrow that survivors experience, unless they themselves have gone through the horror of losing someone they love at the hands of another human being.
On January 15, 2005 sometime after 11:00 a.m, my telephone rang. My sister, Denise, called to give me news that would change my life forever.
She stated that she and my sister, Maureen, were coming to my house. I found this to be odd. We usually plan our visits. I felt in my heart something was wrong. I refused over; and over, and over again to let them come over unless she told me why they were coming suddenly and unexpectedly. I would never, in my wildest dreams, have thought that she and my sister were coming to my house to tell me my son may be dead. After trying to prolong telling me this horrible news over the phone, she finally gave in and told me "Quan might be dead". She and other family members knew about this possibility as early as 2:00 a.m. My mom felt it best to let me sleep until they knew for sure. She stated "we're on our way".
Soon after our call ended, his best friend, Mahall, called to confirm the horrible news. His voice was soft and quiet. I refused to believe he was calling to tell me my son was dead. I prolonged the conversation with small talk. I was hoping he was calling to tell me Laquan was injured, but okay. After approximately five minutes on the phone, he said something to the effect..."Quan is no longer with us". I asked him what do you mean by that. He answered, something to the effect... "Quan is gone, he is no longer with us". I asked him again, what do you mean. He answered, something to the effect... "Quan passed away this morning".
I could not stop screaming from disbelief. I have never felt such pain; sorrow; and many other emotions all at once in my life. I gave the phone to my daughter, Natalia; the youngest of my three children, whom was returning to college the same day.
After running into my bedroom, screaming to the top of my lungs, and falling onto the floor, I picking myself up off the floor. I finally managed to force myself to speak. I called my sister, Denise, to confirm her worst nightmare. I said "it's true, Quan is dead"!!!!!!!!!! I hanged up the phone and began to scream again. She called back, I screamed again, she called back again, I screamed again and again and again. She began to cry as she said "we're on our way".
I refused to believe this. I wanted to believe there was a mistaken identity and everything would be okay.
We later learned from the Medical Examiner and Investigator, that my son died from multiple gunshot wounds to his torso.
I cried out to God, "WHY!!!!!!!!!, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY SON!!!!!!!", DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!!!, WHY GOD, WHY!!!!!!!!
I cannot begin to describe the intense pain and sorrow that one feels when their child dies. To those of you who could not ever begin to comprehend something so inconceivable, I pray you never live to experience this. Parents should never have to experience such an unbearable tragedy.
Laquan was my second child and youngest son. He was loved so much by people from all walks of life. He was a good person, with a good heart. He was intellegient; focused; a mentor to the children, and a peace maker.
A mother's love is eternal. It is a love that last beyond time. We are not supposed to bury our children. The death of my child leaves an emptiness that will be with me forever. It's a life sentence.
Laquan's death was unnecessary and the most horrible way to depart from this earth. He was MURDERED!!!! He died five days before his 25th birthday. My God, he was only 24 years old. He wasn't married; he had no children; he didn't even get the opportunity to find or experience his passion in life. My God, he hadn't even begun to enjoy or understand the meaning of life. My son was taken away from those who loved him much too soon!!!
 He can now fly without wings
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| Eternity |
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| Life Without My Child |
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Please
Please don't ask me
if I am over it yet,
I'll never be over it.
Please don't tell me
he is in a better place,
he isn't here with me.
Please don't say
at least he isn't suffering,
I haven't come to terms with
why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't tell me
you know how I feel,
unless you have lost a child.
Please don't ask me if I feel better,
bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for 24 years,
what year would you choose for your child to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more
than we can handle.
Please just say that you're sorry.
Please just say you remember my child,
if you do.
Please just let me talk about my child.
Please mention my child's name.
Please ... just let me cry.
Please talk about him,
talk about his gentle smile.
Share your memories of him.
Share your sadness that he has gone.
Ask me what I loved about him.
Tell me what you loved about him.
Tell me what he brought to your life.
Tell me you will miss him.
Say he was beautiful.
Say you loved him.
But please don't tell me
there is nothing you can say.
(~ Author Unknown ~)
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| Our family chain is broken and nothing is the same... |
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Tattered Edges
Tattered 'round the edges,
And faded now with time;
Memories that linger still,
Are what they left behind.
Like a precious package,
Kept in a secret room;
Each memory a treasure,
A family heirloom.
On rare and quiet occasion,
The package opens wide;
Revealing then the memories,
That nestle there inside,
Faces etched in memories
Like photos from the past;
Each snapshot printed in the heart,
Are memories that last.
Worn and ragged photographs,
So faded now with time;
Yet the lasting love deep in your heart,
Is what they left behind.
~ Author Unknown ~
Where do broken hearts go when the tears no longer flow?
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| My First Dream -- June 2005 |
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Below is my dream/visit with Laquan in June 2005.
I dreamed that my son was walking toward my apartment door. He was singing a beautiful love ballad loudly and off-key, as he often did while living. Although I knew in my dream that he was deceased, I was excited to hear him approaching. I remember saying in my dream, "It can't be him, he's dead, maybe he really isn't dead"! I was standing in front of my kitchen sink waiting anxiously, with a big smile on my face, for him to enter my apartment. I was so happy to hear his voice. I remember saying "how is he going to open the door, it's locked?" I continued to wait in anticipation as he came closer and closer to my door. As he approached the front of my door his voice changed. He began to sing beautifully. He sang so sincerely from the depth of his heart and soul. I was so excited. It seems he paused before opening the door. As he opened the door he continued to sing. He was wearing a baseball cap. The cap covered his eyes. He never looked at me. He was carrying an empty pale blue laundry basket. He walked directly toward my dryer, never once looking at me. He reached to open the dryer. Unfortunately, I awoke from my telephone ringing.
~His Mom~ |
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| Tattered Dreams... |
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A beautiful tribute from Claire, daughter of angel mum
Rita Darcy. I feel as though I can reach out and touch him.
Thank you Claire!
(10/19/06)
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| Beyond... |
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When You Lose A Child
There is a place within our hearts,
That none it's place can take.
It belongs to someone very dear,
For whom our heart does ache.
We've had many days in our lives that,
We didn't think we'd make it through.
Our hearts hurt oh so much and,
We dread the days anew.
We pray for the sorrow to disappear,
For the pain to go away.
Our angel we want within our arms,
And thoughts of yesterday.
I know it's hard to understand,
Why things happen as they do.
Sorrow may even cause us to doubt,
God's plan for me and you.
Even so our Father is there,
Our cries He does hear.
He knows how bad we're hurting,
And wants to draw us near.
Oh precious friend Jesus loves us!
And loves our angel too.
One day we'll understand it all,
Will see all things brand new.
Remember God uses godly friends,
To remind us of His love.
So listen and be watchful,
For His message from above
One day a smile will surely come,
And tears will fade away.
Beautiful memories we will recall,
As God promises each day.
Oh Yes! "Jesus loves me, this I know;
For the Bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong!"
©~southbreeze~
You are always in my heart.
http://rj-davis.memory-of.com
The above picture of Laquan and poem is a heartfelt
tribute made by Monica Davis, mother of R.J. Davis,
also a victim of homicide.
~ Thank you Monica ~
(9/8/06 and 11/15/06) |
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| A Sign From Laquan |
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November 25, 2005
(Thanksgiving Day)
On Thanksgiving day, 2005, my children and I went to visit Laquan's gravesite. It was raining very heavily. Talia did everything she could to shield me from the downpour of rain with her umbrella. I could care less about getting wet. I said to her, I say to him all the time... "I hate when it rains on your grave, you can't hear one drop falling on your grave, not one single drop".
It slowly stopped raining, the sun came out and shined beautifully in the sky behind the clouds. Talia said "Ma, did you notice it slowly stopped raining". We both looked up at the sky in amazement and then looked at each other. She said "Maybe it's a sign from Quan". My heart was so relieved. I felt at peace. I can't begin to explain the feeling that came over me.
I was invited by my dad to come to his house for dinner. I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted to sleep, not think, not breathe, not be. I just wanted to turn off all the lights and not exist. At the same time, I didn't want to ruin anyone's Thanksgiving. Although I managed somehow to cook Thanksgiving dinner, I had planned to stay home, to be alone and try to sleep through the entire day.
Well, after this we went home, Talia called my dad and said she's coming too! She explained what had happened. Although my heart was still sad, I cherished the moment with my son. I truly enjoyed myself.
I believe this was a sign from my son letting me know he was with me on this special holiday and it's okay.
January 19, 2006
(The day before Quan's birthday)
On January 19, 2006, the day before Quan's birthday, I was talking to my co-worker whom had just returned from lunch. She mentioned it was still very windy and raining heavily outside. I thought to myself, my God, I always use my lunch hour to find a quiet place outside, despite the temperature, to talk to my son. It was hurtful, dreadful, so disappointing to know there would be nowhere for me to go. This was my time to breathe, to feel him, to connect with him. I didn't have to put on a happy face. I was thinking deep in my heart, the ground is wet and anything I could sit on was completely soaked.
Well, soon after I left work, while walking down the street, it slowly stopped raining, the wind ceased, the sun shined beautifully in a blue sky.
Maybe it's wishful thinking but I think he was sending me a sign from Heaven to let me know he was with me and thinking of me too. It's amazing, the exact thing happened to Talia on the very same day.
It's gotta rain sometime!
What I would give to have my son here with me walking through the rain drops.
The picture above of the young man ascending into Heaven was placed on Quan's "Tribute Page" by my dear Memorial Friend, Dottie Hagan. It took me back to the precious moments above. So, I decided to put this "meaningful picture" in a frame and place it here, in his Timeline. Dottie, I thank you from the bottom of my heart forever and a day! There's a reason why my God sent you to me. God bless you.
Matt, this is my tribute to you...
Dottie is mom to angel Matthew Dean Hagan
An earthly angel... A mother is an angel without wings 
No robe of white, no halo in sight, just look in your mother's eyes
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WOULD YOU HAVE ME COME HOME
If God would open the heavens for you to visit for a day; Would you come inside, Just to take me away?
Could you take in all of this beauty and then ask me to come home? Where I have just a backyard and not the Heavens to roam.
Could you take me away from all of your Family, that you have longed to see; or would you just come in to spend the day with me?
Would you ask me to come home If you realized that I am already here; Where I have mountains of love; And not a speck of fear.
Would you not take the time to look in awe at the home He's made for me. To live my days wrapped in love For all eternity.
Sure you are there... I know this is true, Because each and every day I'm watching over you.
But minutes here are short A lifetime for you; We will be together again; That was God's promise to you.
If God did open heaven's gates For you to visit for a day; You would see how happy I am... And ask me to stay.
Inovisions, NC
For you Jeri, I hope this brings you some comfort.
Love you for life
Dottie
If God opened up the Heavens for a visit with you, I wouldn't try to take you away, I'd ask my Heavenly Father if I could stay too.
~ Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the
morning (Ps 30:5) ~
(10/7/06)
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| January 2006 - Eternity |
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My First Year Without Him
~ January 15, 2006 - Eternity ~
Laid to rest Saturday, January 22, 2005
~ Headstone set July 7, 2005 ~
I LOST MY CHILD TODAY
I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.
~Netta Wilson
Second Year Without Him
~ January 15, 2007 - Eternity ~
SO YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND?...
You say to me, "It's been two years,
when will your grieving end?
Why can't you be like you once were,
my smiling happy friend?"
If you really want an answer,
though, I wonder if you do,
I'll take you deep inside me,
where sadness dims the view.
First, my "friend", for your sake,
come close and take my hand,
and we will pray that what I share,
you won't have to understand.
The me you once knew is no more,
it died with my child,
a voice was stilled forever, yet,
the echo drives me wild.
You say you loss someone you love,
so you have known death too,
however, they were not your child;
not twenty-four and part of you.
I barely survived those first months,
coping was a dreadful task,
I'd tell you I was fine,
while sobbing behind my mask.
If I talked about my precious child,
you turned away in fear,
you couldn't stand to see me cry,
nor would you share my tears.
I wanted to speak of him, please,
won't you say his name?
But, you pretend he never was,
so he died over and over again.
Oh, I see that you're uncomfortable,
you no longer want my hand,
so as it was before we talked, my "friend",
you don't want to understand!
(Revised)
~Author Unknown~
This is a picture of my child's casket.
Try to imagine your child asleep, forever, in this.
Then, ask yourself how would you feel
if it were you instead of me!
My "friend", pray you never walk
in my shoes to have to understand
...THIS IS MY CHILD'S ETERNAL BED ON EARTH!!!!
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| In Memory of Laquan -- January, 2007 |
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January 14, 2007
~ Angel Date ~
Jan 15, 2007
The above is a very precious tribute from
Julie; loving and caring
daughter to Diane and Thomas E. Packer
Thank you Julie,
May God and the Heavenly Angels
walk with us until He calls us Home!
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| In Memory of Laquan -- February 7, 2007 |
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~ Valentines Day ~
February 14, 2007
Loving thoughts of you / Marilyn-mom Of
Rachel Barnes (friend)
Love is more than a feeling.
It is who we are.
It defines our actions,
our thoughts,
and directs the paths of our lives.
Marilyn,
Thank you so much for remembering Laquan |
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| In Memory of Laquan -- March 12, 2007 |
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The above is a very precious gift from
Diana Jones; warm and loving
daughter to Norma Starkey.
May God walk beside you; hold you up,
carry you until you reunite with
your beloved mum.
It's amazing how God sends His
earth angels at the right time.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for directing our angels
to send this tribute to me
during this special time of year.
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| In Memory of Laquan -- Easter Blessings 2007 |
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| In Memory of Laquan -- Mother's Day 2007 |
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~ Mother's Day~
May 13, 2007
Early Mother's Day, Jeri / Annette Wappes
(Mom of angel Burdett )
April 19, 2007
IF ONLY…
If only I could hold you mama,
Just one more day with you,
I'd let you feel all the love to last
til' your life is through.
I'd tell you that I'm with you
and how I miss you so,
Not to think of me as gone,
cause we're closer than you know.
God called for me to do the work
that only I can do,
He never meant to hurt you,
my time on earth was through.
I know you hold a lot of pain
and tears forever flow,
But I'm there right beside you, mama,
and I want you to know...
On mother's day I'll be there
although my face you will not see.
No card or present you'll receive
but I left you memories.
So, when you think of me today
and tears fill your eyes,
know that I am watching you...
Your angel in disguise!...
I love you mama!
~ Written by Dawn Elmore ~
Annette,
Thank you so much for the above poem, your kindness,
and heartfelt words. God bless you, my friend.
(Annette Wappes, loving mom to Burdette Wappes)
On Mothers day / Maria Angel Mum To Amore, Cara, Teressa &. Pieta
April 28, 2007
Maria,
Thank you so much; I am so grateful. Through it all
we lift our eyes toward Heaven and still say
God is good!
(Maria Zollo Semmler, loving mom to seven beautiful angels
Earth Angels: Tiana, Mikari, and Jesse
Heavenly Angels: Amore, Cara, Teresa, and Pieta
Angel Brother: Peter)
Bless You On Mother's Day Jeri /
Brenda Mom To William Myers
May 4, 2007
Have a beautiful Mother's Day Jeri
God Bless you and your
Precious Son Laquan
A big heartfelt thank you Brenda!!!
In the midst of it all
God is good!
God bless you and your
precious son, William, too!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ((((((((((JERI))))))-)))) / Monica~mom Of ^i^ RJ Davis~ Murdered At
Age 18
In 2004 (Angel Friend )
May 6, 2007
God bless your loving soul, Monica.
May God bless and continue to
watch over us until the day
He calls us Home.
Thank you so much!!!
for your mum on mothers day / Diana&Pauline Of Angel Norma Starkey (friend)
May 10, 2007
Thinking of you Jeri as Mothers day approaches,
sending our love Love Diana&Pauline
xxxx
Thank you Diana and Pauline, God bless your beautiful soul!
May He bless and keep you until you
reunite with your precious mum in our
eternal Home.
QUAN, FOR YOUR WONDERFUL MOTHER / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT
(ANGEL FRIEND )
May 11, 2007
Thank you Rose!!!
It will be a glorious day for all of us whom enter
the promised land. Our work down here will be over;
our debt will be paid in full. We'll reunite with our
loved ones and sing we got the victory.
Jeri / Gail Mom Crystal Earnhart
(^l^ friend )
May 13, 2007
Gail,
Wishing you and Brianna a Mother's Day full of love and
comfort from your loved ones here and above.
Thank you, my friend.
Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy cometh in the morning (Ps 30:5)
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| Living With Grief |
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Life after the devastating loss of a precious loved one…
You NEVER overcome your loss; it’s a life sentence, forever a part of your new life…
You NEVER stop loving or missing them, you are FORCED to adjust to their absence…
You won't EVER FORGET THEM, because they are and will remain a cherished part of your existence. There are many memories of them everywhere you go and in everything you do...
Your grief DOES NOT get better; it just changes faces over time.
Everyday, GRIEF takes you through another hurtful test of dealing with yesterday, today, and tomorrow without the presence of the person whom you love and miss so much!!!
Five Stages of Grief:
Denial – This can’t be real
Anger – Why me?
Bargaining – If I do this, you’ll do that
Depression – Feeling sad, defeated, depleated, empty, alone,
hopeless
Acceptance – The intensity of the sadness lessens,
but will never entirely go away.
The death of our loved one does not end our relationship with them, but is simply the beginning of a new relationship with them on the other side.
Note: Each stage of grief does not always happen in this precise order. One or more stages may repeat itself over-and-over again.
God be with you,
~Quan's Mom~ |
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| The Loss of My Child |
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PEOPLE
People tend to try to be there for us
in the beginning of our grief process.
They tend to try to re-enter our life when they
hear us laugh or see us smile, assuming
our grief has ended
and we have returned to their reality.
Their secret thoughts are thank God
she finally let go, she's over him!!!
Some people run away and never return.
It's much easier to avoid us than
to accept that we are in the midst of
inconceivable sorrow and pain.
What would they want us to do
if it were them?
It is those moments of time between
our outwardly, open expression of our grief and our
silent grief that we need a sincere, true friend.
What people fail to realize is that this road never ends.
It is a walk we whom have loss our child
will walk until the day we too
close our eyes for the very last time.
Our child's life doesn't end when their life
here on earth is done.
They are still our children and we still love
them dearly although they now
live in our eternal home.
They are still very much a part of our
everyday life, every birthday, holiday,
and special occasion.
They are and will remain part of our
heart; mind, and soul,
until the day God calls us Home; until the
day we reunite again on the other side.
This is something they will never, ever possibly
understand, or comprehend
until they too travel the same road.
You see, over a period of time, the world teaches us
that, in time, our grief must become our
eternal silent partner.
With or without us the world will continue to move on,
leaving us where we learn to become acceptable,
silently, grieving parents.
~His Mom~
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| My New Normal |
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MY NEW NORMAL…
Normal is waking up and going to sleep knowing that he will
never call, visit, or say "I love you Ma" again in human form.
Normal is me needing him not him needing me.
It seems like he has become the elder
Normal is waking up and going to sleep, for the rest of my
life, knowing he now lives’ in a place I cannot imagine.
Normal is a yearning to run somewhere; anywhere, and
scream to top of my lungs in hope that it will soothe my
broken heart
Normal is accepting that I must grieve privately.
Hello world, death is eternal!!!
Normal is always having an empty chair, every day, week,
month, year, birthday, holiday, and special occasion
Normal is the unexplainable feeling of sadness when I look
at beautiful flowers, the sky, rain, or snow
Normal is carefully placing flowers on my child's
resting place on his birthday, angel date,
and during holiday seasons
Normal is looking forward to visiting him at his
gravesite knowing he is not there
Normal is not having a good night’s sleep since
the day he went Home and dreading
waking up and going to sleep
Normal is a question to which there is no answer… “WHY”!
Normal is numbers that now have a special meaning,
hurtful significance
Normal is the sadness and hurt I feel when in total silence.
Normal is staring at other young men his age and having to
feel the roller coaster ride of emotions all over again
Normal is wondering what he would look like if
he were still here
Normal is being among a crowd of strangers hoping
to see someone who looks just like him
Normal is a yearning desire to talk about him simply
because he is still my child and I love him
Normal is breaking down and crying when I hear a song that
my son loved or would have loved if he was still here
Normal is crying from every ounce of my being at
any given moment
Normal is knowing that others are uncomfortable around me
Normal is praying others will always remember him.
He is still my son, we just have a new relationship
Normal is knowing that nothing I have lost can
ever compare to the loss of my child
Imagine how devastating it is to lose your home
or business by an act of nature,
your treasured vehicle, or your marriage by divorce.
Imagine the end of a relationship with a man or woman
you loved with all of your heart,
The loss of your well-paying job or your most
precious worldly possessions.
Imagine how devastating it must be
to be homeless with no one to call "friend".
Imagine the devastation you felt over things
you've loss or situations that have overwhelmed you?
None of the above compare to the tragic
loss of my child, so please don't go there.
Please don't ask me to do what you cannot do
here and now, while you live!
Please don't ever compare my letting go of the
loss of my precious child to a situation
or material things
Death is eternal, it cannot be repaired or undone.
Normal is not caring about the daily things I once
considered important
Normal is answering the question how many
children do I have and what are their ages.
He is one of my three precious children
and is forever 24
Normal is totally understanding the overwhelming
sorrow, pain, emotions, and feeling of emptiness
and loss of a newly grieving soul
Normal is being able to understand the depth of
emotion before, during and after a loved one's funeral,
rather than a wedding, birthday party, sports,
holiday, or special occasion
Normal is looking forward to visiting his and other
memorial web sites because it is the one place I can go
to feel every emotion and not feel out of place
Normal is meeting people online that would otherwise be
a total stranger on the street, yet feeling a connection,
a bond, a special friendship
Normal is having a special connection with someone
who is grieving rather than someone who is celebrating
Normal is my heartfelt appreciation for the many
candles, tributes, and graphics that are placed
on Laquan's website from others whom truly understand
Normal is I will never completely get over the loss
of my child; there is no such thing as closure!
Normal is my complete understanding that
I am the one who is waiting to go Home
He wouldn't come back here if he could
Normal is asking God, each day, to forgive me for
my sins, accept me as His child, and to please
take me Home before tomorrow comes
Normal is believing it won't matter, or will all
make sense "why" I loss my child when
I cross over to the other side
My son's soul continues to live, he now lives in eternity
~ His Mom ~
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| In Memory of My Dad -- George Henry, Jr. |
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He and Laquan are resting, until we meet again
Jul. 22, 1939 ~ Jun. 15, 2008 |
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| Gone Home -- He Now Lives In Eternity |
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| LAQUAN MAJETTE '98 MEMORIAL FUND |
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Peter Tiboris, Laquan's friend and former teammate, found the following Memorial Fund. In honor of Quan, Pete took it upon himself to establish the Laquan Majette '98 Memorial Fund below shortly after his death in 2005. It is an honor to know that he was an inspiration to MKA and the Montclair Kimberly Academy community and was loved so much... God bless you Pete.
LAQUAN MAJETTE '98 MEMORIAL FUND
The Fund awards an academically and financially qualified Sophomore a reimbursement of $1,000 per year for extraneous expenses relating to the attendance of the Montclair Kimberley Academy Upper School. The Fund continues to sponsor that same qualified student with $1,000 per year through their senior year. Reimbursed expenses may include transportation, books, athletic equipment, trips, etc.
Please make your tax-deductible contribution payable to:
The Montclair Kimberley Academy
(memo: Laquan Majette Memorial Fund)
The check can be mailed to:
The Montclair Kimberley Academy
Attn: Judy Polonofsky
201 Valley Road
Montclair, NJ 07042
Laquan's impact was significant for many of us. Please honor him and help keep his memory strong in the MKA community.
If you have any questions, please contact Pete Tiboris '98 at
646-369-0130.
Peter Tiboris |
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| Thank You... Please come Back Again! |
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